Discovering that your spouse or partner has been unfaithful can be utterly devastating. Unfortunately, infidelity is quite common – research shows that 20% of men and 13% of women admit to cheating.
If you suspect your significant other is cheating, it’s understandable to want confirmation. Catching a cheater red-handed can help bring closure and clarity to the situation. However, spying on your partner without their consent raises major ethical concerns.
This guide will walk through various techniques people use to uncover infidelity and catch cheating spouses. We’ll look objectively at the pros and cons of each approach. Use discretion to determine if taking any of these steps is appropriate for your unique situation.
Watch for Suspicious Phone Behavior
In the digital age, phones hold many clues to secret communications and illicit relationships. Here are some common phone-related signs your partner may be cheating:
- They never let their phone out of sight and get anxious if you touch it.
- You notice them suddenly silencing calls or turning over the phone when you enter the room.
- They delete entire text or call histories.
- They have new passcodes and biometric locks enabled that you don’t know.
- You catch them using messaging apps they never used before.
If your partner exhibits this type of suspicious behavior, they may be hiding something on their phone. Proceed with caution if you choose to gain access to their device without permission.
Use a Phone Monitoring App
Phone monitoring apps like SpyBubble allow you to secretly track everything happening on your partner’s smartphone or tablet. These programs run completely in stealth mode, without any visible icon or notifications.
Once installed on the target device, the spy app will let you:
- View all texts, instant messages, and emails sent and received.
- See phone call logs with numbers and timestamps.
- Track GPS location history.
- Remotely access photos, videos, and files.
- Record ambient sounds and calls.
- Monitor activity across social media and chat apps.
Pros: Gives complete access to monitor communications and whereabouts. Hard evidence can reveal and confirm cheating behavior.
Cons: Unethical to install on a phone without the owner’s consent. Requires physical access to the device. Monthly subscription fees apply.
Add Your Fingerprint to Their Phone
If your partner has touch ID or other biometric phone unlocking set up, their phone contents may be hidden from you.
You can secretly add your own fingerprint when they are not looking. The next time your spouse unlocks their phone, you can then access it by touching the sensor.
Look for suspicious apps, messages, calls, photos, or browsing history that may indicate cheating.
Pros: Simple, fast way to bypass a locked phone. No apps or tools needed.
Cons: Unethical to access private data without consent. Fingerprints may be discovered and removed. Limited opportunity to view contents.
Track Locations with GEOfinder
Phone location tracking services like GEOfinder allow you to monitor your partner’s whereabouts. After entering their number, it will pinpoint the phone’s current and historical coordinates.
Watch for frequent visits to unfamiliar places that align with missing time or odd schedules. Compare against any explanations your partner provided.
Pros: Works by phone number only, no installation needed. Low one-time cost for decent accuracy. Good for confirming suspicions.
Cons: Only provides location data. Does not reveal full communications or app activity. Lower accuracy than a GPS app.
Check Browser History and Passwords
Browsers like Google Chrome store detailed records of websites visited, searches, logins, and passwords.
When your partner’s devices are unlocked, browse their history and saved passwords. Look for:
- Dating sites or affair chat rooms.
- Searches related to cheating or relationships.
- Accounts you don’t recognize.
Pros: Reveals online activity that may point to secret affairs. No apps or tools required.
Cons: Unethical to access accounts without permission. History and passwords can be deleted. Limited insights compared to full monitoring.
Use a Keylogger like uMobix
Keylogger apps stealthily record all keystrokes typed on a device. This includes messages, search terms, usernames, and passwords.
A keylogger like uMobix runs silently in the background, logging everything without detection. Install it if you need textual proof of cheating conversations.
Pros: Direct access to typed messages and details. Constant logging makes deletions pointless.
Cons: Highly unethical and in many places illegal. Only captures text-based data. Physical install required.
Monitor Messaging and Social Media Apps
Cheating spouses often use secret accounts on apps like SMS, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, Snapchat, Tinder, and others to communicate.
Phone spyware lets you silently read all messages, view media, and track app activity across multiple platforms. Or, physically check your partner’s phone when possible.
Pros: Apps and sites are common cheating tools. Direct access to communications.
Cons: Unethical without consent. Evidence may be deleted. Requires install or phone access.
Check Cloud Backups and Trash Folders
Phones automatically sync data like photos, videos, and chats to cloud services like iCloud and Google Photos. Deleted files often linger in the trash folder.
Browse your shared cloud account and your partner’s device trash bins to uncover potentially incriminating media.
Pros: Recovers deleted files and media. No install or permissions needed if you have account access.
Cons: Unethical to dig through private data without permission. You may not find anything useful.
Set Up Keyword Alerts
Keyword monitoring tools notify you anytime your partner types flagged words or phrases. This works for search terms, messages, emails, or anything typed on their device.
Tune the keywords to reveal cheating conversations. For example: “lover”, “divorce”, “secret”, etc.
Pros: Get real-time alerts about suspicious communications. Useful for confirming strong suspicions.
Cons: Difficult to implement without spyware. Reporting may include many false alerts. Unethical.
Create a Fake Profile
A risky but direct tactic is to create a fake profile on a dating site your spouse uses. Flirt with them under this pretend identity to gauge receptiveness to cheating.
Confront your partner with any concerning interactions the profile has with them. Demand the truth.
Pros: Very direct catfishing approach to catch them planning affairs. Low risk and cost to set up fake account.
Cons: Unethical and deceptive to entrap your partner. No way to confirm if they would fully cheat. Could seriously damage trust.
Check Bank and Credit Card Statements
Unusual charges, gifts, hotels, dating site subscriptions, or trips may appear on account statements. Ask your spouse about any transactions that raise red flags.
Comb through statements yourself if you have account access. Look for spending that points to secret affairs.
Pros: Financial trails don’t lie. Clear evidence if you spot purchases or trips linked to cheating.
Cons: Incomplete picture compared to communication monitoring. Few concrete indicators in statements alone. Unethical to access accounts without permission.
Use Voice Recorders and Hidden Cameras
Place hidden microphones and cameras in your home or car to capture audio or video of your partner’s activities. Analyze the recordings for any signs of unfaithfulness.
Pros: Directly reveals behaviors and interactions indicating cheating. Audio and video evidence is hard to refute.
Cons: Highly illegal in most areas without consent. Unethical violation of privacy. Discoveries could be traumatic. Labor-intensive to analyze recordings.
Hire a Private Investigator
Professional private investigators have extensive experience catching cheaters in the act. They use legal monitoring methods like public records searches, location tracking, surveillance, and intelligence gathering.
Trust their discretion and expertise if you need conclusive proof but lack the skills or emotional distance to spy on your partner yourself.
Pros: Legal proof obtained ethically by professionals. Experts handle the most traumatic investigations. Reduces personal conflict.
Cons: Very expensive with fees ranging from $50-$150 per hour. Slow and uncertain process. Discoveries may still be emotionally devastating.
Confront Your Partner
If you believe your spouse is cheating, it’s often best to directly raise your concerns without proof.
Have an open and honest conversation in a calm setting. Voice your worries and ask them to help rebuild trust, through counseling or sharing access to their devices and accounts.
Pros: Gives them a chance to come clean or provide reassurance without spying. Begins open communication and healing. Shows maturity.
Cons: No solid evidence of cheating means suspicions may be denied or deflected. Risks serious fight or denial. Difficult to initiate conversation.
Consider Relationship Counseling
Regardless of whether your partner admits to cheating or you uncover evidence, the relationship clearly has major trust issues. This breeds toxicity that can destroy the marriage or partnership.
Seek help from a trained couples counselor or therapist. Work to rebuild intimacy, communication, respect, and forgiveness together. Counseling provides tools to move forward, whether towards reconciliation or separation.
Pros: Constructive, ethical approach focused on mutual understanding. Provides professional guidance tailored to your situation. Chance for healing and growth.
Cons: Counseling is challenging emotional work requiring high commitment from both parties. Often cannot force a reluctant partner to participate fully and honestly.
Keep Your Well-Being the Priority
Discovering a partner’s betrayal causes immense emotional anguish and stress. As you weigh options to catch a cheating spouse, remember:
- Prioritize self-care and your mental health above spying for answers. Don’t obsess over the situation.
- Focus only on constructive steps that protect your legal rights and financial interests.
- Avoid rash reactions or retaliation that could cause further pain or damage.
- Seek support from trusted friends, family, professionals, faith communities, or support groups. You don’t have to cope alone.
- If needed, remove yourself from toxic situations that impact health and safety, either temporarily or permanently.
Key Takeaways: How to Catch a Cheater
- Watch for suspicious phone behavior like secrecy, constant messaging, and frequent deletions.
- Spyware apps provide secret monitoring but raise huge ethical concerns without consent.
- Accessing devices, accounts, and data without permission is unethical. Tread carefully.
- Location tracking can confirm time spent at unfamiliar places.
- Recovering deleted files from cloud backups and trash folders is possible.
- Directly confronting your partner, while hard, is better than unethical spying in many cases.
- Seek counseling and support focused on understanding, growth, and healing.
- Prioritize your mental health and well-being above obtaining proof of cheating.
FAQs: Catching a Cheating Spouse
What are signs your spouse is cheating?
Common signs of a cheating spouse include increased cell phone secrecy, frequent business trips or “late nights at the office”, more passwords and accounts you can’t access, less intimacy and affection, evasiveness, and changes in sex or communication patterns.
What apps do cheaters use?
Cheating spouses often use chat apps like WhatsApp, Snapchat, and Facebook Messenger that have secret messaging and deletion features. Tinder and other dating apps are popular tools for affairs. Cheating apps like Snapchat and Telegram are harder to trace.
Can you tell if your spouse is cheating from phone records?
Yes, phone records can provide clues or proof of cheating, but are limited compared to full monitoring. Look for patterns like frequent communication with one unknown number, long calls late at night or during work hours, and deactivated call logging.
What do most cheaters have in common?
Studies show cheaters often share traits like narcissism, impulsiveness, avoidance of intimacy, lack of empathy, and willingness to justify actions. A sense of entitlement, boredom, and opportunity also contribute significantly to infidelity in relationships.
How do you know if your gut feeling is right?
Learn to trust your intuition. If your spouse’s behavior makes you uncomfortable or uneasy without clear reason, your subconscious may be picking up on problems. Don’t ignore gut feelings of suspicion or danger about your partner’s faithfulness or motives. Stay alert to small signs that reinforce those intuitive concerns.
Can a cheater really change?
With consistent effort and counseling, it is possible for a formerly unfaithful spouse to reform their conduct and re-commit to a monogamous relationship. However, overcoming that betrayal requires rebuilding trust slowly, through complete transparency. The cheater must fully own their actions, make amends, and understand the underlying reasons for their infidelity in order to change. For many, the tendency to cheat remains a lifelong struggle.
Discovering a partner’s infidelity is painful, but you have options to uncover the truth while protecting yourself. Take cautious, ethical steps to address your concerns and begin healing. Don’t let suspicion trap you in toxicity – prioritize your mental well-being. Seek support and stay strong through life’s challenges. You deserve to have healthy, trusting relationships.